I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
