i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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