my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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