some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
