let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
