...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
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just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
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I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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