we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
