Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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