So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
