so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think I am morally bankrupt
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
