12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
