At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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