That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.