I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
