Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
