Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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