hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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