I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just want nice things and good sex
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
