So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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