9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
