Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
