My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
