Pregnant stripper...not hot.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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