Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
