Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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