Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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