so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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