Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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