They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
This is the high leading the old right now
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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