On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
