I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
