Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
