id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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