I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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