Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
