Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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