so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
