it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
