Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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