I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
