The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
