why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize