I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
