I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
