So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
