Three words: puerto rican gang bang
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
