we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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