alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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