She is in my trunk
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
