mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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