i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
