My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
