im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
