none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
