My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
