you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize