I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
