Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
