In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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