I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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