chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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