I smell stomach acid.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
