I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize