She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
