Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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