you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Green mimosas i think yes
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
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I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You have to summon your inner elephant
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
