Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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