He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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